The Shea Hot Corner

1. You're a New Yorker starring in a movie about this fanatical Red Sox dude. How did you negotiate those dangerous waters? Pick a side already!

Jimmy Fallon: I grew up in Saugerties, upstate NY. I was never really serious with one team. I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets ... like two games a year. Then I got to "Saturday Night Live" where my boss (Lorne Michaels) has unbelievable New York Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I'm going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I'm gonna go sit with. I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox.

Wow, I gotta say that after seeing Jimmy Fallon on the field celebrating with the Red Sox last night and then reading this interview excerpt, I'm really rooting for the SS Bandwagon to sink before Fallon has an opportunity to jump ship.

There was never any Curse of the Bambino. Other teams have always just been better and every so often, luckier. Not this year. Congratulaions Red Sox Nation (us Mets fans still have '86 though).

The following answers were prepared by my buddy Ed, a Yankee hatin' Mets fan, after the greatest post season collapse in baseball history last night. And yes, my friends are as sick and demented as I am.

#1 Answer: the heimlich maneuver
Question: what are these overpaid, over-hyped Yankees in need of more than decent starting pitching?


#2 Answer: heart
Question: what is one of the two things King George's money can't buy?


#3 Answer: fans with class
Question: what is the second thing?


#4 Answer: Mickey Mantle
Question: what is the only thing more dead than the Yankees' bats last night?


For more coverage of the ALCS, don't miss Bill Simmons' articles.

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear uselessssss
Happy birthday to you.

Apparently there was some kind of Donald/Ivana Trump-like divorce over at Yankees, Mets and the Rest. Vinny created a new Mets-only portion of Yankees, Mets and the Rest called, appropriately enough, No Joy in Metsville, which you can find at http://mets.ymtr.com/. Also, check out a new Mets blog called Metsmerized, named after the failed 1986 rap song.

I never understood why Get Metsmerized was not a hit? How could it not with lyrics like this:

Dwight's my name, what can I say,
you know they call me Doctor K,
change up, fastball, slider and curve,
step up to the plate if ya got the nerve.

Get Metsmerized was followed up with the wildly popular Let's Go Mets . . . a song that electrified New York. The best thing that came from Get Metsmerized and Let's Go Mets was, however, not hours of listening joy for us fans but rather the launching of Darryl Strawberry's solo career with the 1987 release of Chocolate Strawberry. And with lyrics like these, how could it not be a hit?

My name is Darryl, I'm a baseball player
One thing I forgot to say-a
When I'm on the field I'm on top of the world
I get screams from all the girls (Dar-ryl!)
Everybody in the stadium, screams for me
Strike one, strike two, but no strike three
When I'm runnin, all the players make space
I run, I slide, and then I'm safe"Cause you're DEF!"
Yo, I ain't soft
I even get paid on my days off
Grandslammer, "Are you as good as they, say?"
I guess you never came to see me play
Any pitch you throw I control it
I took it while you wasn't lookin'
So give me your beef, homeboy I'm cookin'
I can get loose so don't you try
I graduated from Crenshaw High
You can even ask Eric 'Boogie' E.

All this rappin' got me thinking. What would the 2004 Mets rap song be? How about, 91 Problems, with a chorus that goes something like this?

91 Problems but a win ain't one
If you havin win problems I feel bad for you son
I got 91 problems but a win ain't one
Hit me!

New York Mets first round draft pick Phil Humber has yet to sign with the team and since the Tigers broke off talks with their first round pick Justin Verlander, fans are wondering if he'll ever sign. Whether or not Humber signs with the Mets is a concern for many reasons, chief among them, for me at least, is that the Mets felt comfortable trading top flight pitching prospects this season because they were banking on Humber being able to step into the system as a replacement. If Humber does not sign, then the list of reasons why the Scott Kazmir and Matt Peterson trades might not have been such a great idea grows by one. Humber offered some comfort to us fans still hung up on Black Friday, however, when he said that he wasn't fazed by Detroit's decision to break off negotiations with Verlander and that negotiations with the Mets have been cordial and smooth. Let's just hope they go from "cordial and smooth" to "quick and easy" so that Humber is signed and ready for Spring Training.

Really Bobby, why don't you tell us how you really feel? See this and other blunt comments directed toward the Mets by former Mets pitcher Bobby Ojeda here.

. . . back again, Norm is back . . . tell a friend. Doo doo doo.

Sorry for the extended layoff (and for the bad Eminem reference) but every so often real life gets in the way of my secret, alternative cyber-baseball geek life. I know I know, I need to set priorities. I should be back to posting a bit more regularly soon. Thanks to those who have e-mailed and left messages wanting to know if I was still alive. Yup, still alive and kickin. And thanks to the rest of the Mets bloggers who kept chugging along and fighting the good fight, despite a season that went from hopeful to dreadful in the blink of an eye.

So, let's recap what's taken place since I went AWOL: Mets tanked; fired Howe; had Reyes and Matsui swap positions; demoted Duquette; extracted Richie Rich, aka Jeff Wilpon, from baseball operations; hired Minaya; created their own TV network; fired entire coaching staff save Rick Peterson; insulted Don Baylor; and have engaged in an American Idol-like search for a new manager. Well, now that we're all caught up I guess I can start commenting on new developments as they unravel. Stay tuned . . .