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Sunday, August 08, 2004

Welcome To My Brain 

The Extra Innings Package is not carrying today's Mets-Cardinals game so I paid my $2.95 to get the game on MLB.tv. Since I'm at my computer watching this game, I figured I'd keep notes and subject you all to my thoughts while the game went on. Don't make fun of my poor spelling and typos.

The line-ups:

Mets
J. Reyes 2b
T. Zeile 1b
K. Matsui ss
C. Floyd lf
M. Cameron cf
R. Hidalgo rf
D. Wright 3b
V. Wilson c
A. Leiter p

St. Louis
T. Womack 2b
E. Renteria ss
A. Pujols 1b
S. Rolen 3b
L. Walker rf
R. Sanders lf
S. Taguchi cf
Y. Molina c
J. Marquis p

Top of 1st
Great, we get to deal with Walker today. Huh, Piazza's sitting out again? Reyes singled. I actually don't mind Zeile in the 2 hole - he's a good situational hitter. Go Zeile. I think one of the Cardinals announcers just said that Art Howe was "too smart for his own good." I must have heard that wrong. Mets with runners at the corners for Kaz, who might actually feel comfortable in the 3 hole. Wow, Kaz stung that ball to CF, driving in Jose who tagged easily. It's Pujols cap day in St. Louis. I wish the Mets had Pujols - or his hat. That was a sick catch of Floyd's pop foul by Molina and nice play by the fans to get the hell out of his way (take note Bartman). Cammy down 0/2, what a surprise. If he looks at strike 3 I'm going to scream. He seems to have a huge problem protecting the plate when he's down 2 strikes. Cammy pops out to end the inning - at least he didn't strike out, and that's what it's come to for Mets fans - redefining victory. Good guys 1, bad guys 0.

Bottom of 1st
Step right up folks - the Al Leiter magic show is about to begin. Oh, I just realized Edmonds is sitting out. Cool. This line-up is still scary. Leiter goes to a full count against Womack. The first of many full counts I'm sure. Womack pokes a broken bat single. We should start keeping track of how many bats Leiter breaks per start. That "stat" would be at least useful as productive outs. The Cards announcers are nice enough to point out that the Mets offense is rated last as well as their defense. Thanks, because I didn't want to forget that. Reneteria's hitting .424 vs. lefties! Second batter, second full count. Damn, Renteria swatted a ball over Cammy's head off the wall and Womach scores. Game tied already. By the time you get to Pujols, you have got to have at least one out. Men on, no outs with Pujols, Rolen and Walker up is a bad combo. This could get ugly, quick. Nice job by Leiter to jam Pujols. Renteria out at second b/c he didn't re-tag 3rd base. Oh now, Vance Wilson is down. Pujols knocked him in the dome with his back swing. There should be some repercussions for doing that. Stick Pujols in the penalty box for high sticking or something. Wilson's done. Ooo, he looks pissed going into the dugout. Jason Phillips in behind the dish. Wait, what the hell, they're letting Renteria stay on 2nd? What the hell! Art get out there and give them a piece of your mind you little girl! This is the 2nd time a Card bloodied one of our Mets (Zeile got lit up in the ear earlier in the year). Wait, now Renteria is out. I'm confused (as usual). Rolen hits a double. Thankfully Renteria was out. The fans are giving Walker a big ovation. Isn't that cute - now strike him out Al! And he does! I really enjoyed Al's first trick of the afternoon - not getting out the first two batters in this line-up and only allowing one run in the inning. Leiter needs 23 pitches to get through the inning. Good guys 1, bad guys 1.

Top of the 2nd
C'mon Doggie! Crap, Hidalgo struck out. Some Card players wives in the booth. None of them are hot. David Wright grounds out to Scott Rolen. Damn, I'd be happy if Wright turns out to be half the player Rolen is. Let's go goggs. I wonder if Phillips gave Matsui some advise about his spectacles. Phillips got on base - don't know how as the announcer was too busy talking to the ugly wives. I think Leiter might actually have a nicer looking swing than Craig Counsel. Does Al really think he's fooling anyone with that annoying fake bunt? Al Ks. Good guys 1, bad guys 1.

Bottom of 2nd
I like how everyone in the stands wears red. We should all wear orange at Shea. The entire stadium would look like one big construction zone. Another full count - this time to Reggie Sanders. A six pitch walk to Sanders. Ugh, lead-off walks drive me nuts. Ugh, Leiter pegs Taguchi. Ya know, I can think of a gazzillion other hitters the Mets should be hitting. Needless to say, lil' Taguchi isn't one of them. At least Al only thew a few pitches before hitting him. Holy Matsui Batman! What a DP! What did this guy do with the real Matsui? Who is the real Matsui? Will the real Matsui please stand up, please stand up, please stand up. By far the best play in the field Matsui and Reyes have made together all season. That was awesome. You go witcha bad spectacled self Kaz (snap, snap, snap). Marquis pops out. Crisis averted again. Good guys 1, bad guys 1.

Top of 3rd
Reyes is thrown out trying to bunt. I like that Jose has been trying to bunt more, he just has not had much success the last few games in doing it thanks to some nice defense. I guess Jose picked the wrong defense to try and test. These guys are good. Zeile takes a walk. Matsui bounces a ball to second, Zeile out but Kaz beats out the DP. Oooo, Marquis ties Cliff up on an inside pitch for a called strike 3. Good guys 1, bad guys 1.

Bottom of 3rd
Womack pops out. Renteria challenges Wright with a bunt down the 3b line and Wright can't get the ball out of his glove fast enough. That will come (I hope). Pujols broken bat hard grounder to third, Wright tosses it to Jose at 2nd, lead runner out, Jose overthrows 1st base trying to turn two and Pujols ends up on 2nd. Wright hesitated just long enough in making the throw that Jose had to rush to turn the DP and threw the ball away. Damn it, whatever Kaz has he is spreading it to Jose and Wright. Wright needs to check his glove - someone might be playing a prank on him and put some glue in it. First base open, two outs, Rolen up and the lefty Walker on deck - they walk Rolen. Can't say I disagree. I hate the Mets black caps with blue bills. Either make them all blue or all black. The black and blue theme sucks. Full count on Walker. Let's go Al. That pitch wasn't even close. Walker walks. Bases loaded for Sanders. Great, Al just hit Sanders - with the bases juiced! Pujols comes in to score. Bases still loaded for Taguchi. Teguchi smacks a two run, bases loaded double. Nice, in this stacked line-up we're getting beat by Teguchi! This sucks. We could have been out of this inning an hour and a half ago if Wright/Reyes could have turned that DP. Molina IBB and Marquis pops out. Inning done, finally. Good guys 1, bad guys 4.

Top of 4th
Cammy pops out to shallow center where Met Killer Taguchi gobbles up the pop up. Feat or famine Hidalgo digs in, who is hungry - strikes out looking. Wright singles, but he needs to do more than that to make up for his costly double pumping. Goggs takes a walk. Top of the 5th, two outs, two men on and Al Leiter coming in to bat - do you PH? Howe doesn't and I can't blame him. Anytime we can keep a starter in the game, with this bullpen, I do it. I can't say Leiter has been that bad so far. With even average defense the Mets are still very much in this game. Leiter gone on strikes. Good guys 1, bad guys 4.

Bottom 4th
Leiter comes into the inning having thrown 68 pitches, 31 for strikes. Pretty much par for the course for Al. Let's hope Al doesn't hit another batter and if he does, let's hope it's Pujols or Rolen. Womack pops out. Actually, back to the beaning issue. Let's hope Al doesn't hit anyone. Our infield might actually be the biggest bunch of wimps I've ever seen. I think Rolen and Pujols could probably take Phillips, Leiter, Zeile, Reyes, Matsui and Wright at the same time. Renteria gets his third hit of the day. There's a hotty blonde in the stands right behind home plate. Where are my marti gras beads when I need them. Leiter makes quick work of Pujols who strikes out and of course the Cards announcers, who are making this game more unbearable than it really is, say that it was a bad call. Of course, a Met pitcher could not strike out Pujols w/out some help from the ump. Renteria swipes second base. Phillips didn't have a chance. With first base open now, I'd probably walk Rolen and pitch to Walker or, at the very least, not give him anything to hit. What a surprise, Rolen knocks in Renteria. Good for my fantasy team, bad for my Mets. Walker bloops a double into LF and Rolen comes in to score. Call FEMA, the floodgates have opened. Last inning's barrage you could blame on poor defense. Now, however, Leiter is just getting batted around. Cedeno grounds out to end the inning. You guys hear Cedeno bash the Flushing Faithful as having no class because they/we/you bood him? What a putz. How dare a multi millionaire, who makes those millions thanks to our money, talk shit on us. I hope the Cards cut him now that they have Walker. Roger can't hear me but I'm screaming "booooo, booooo, boooo." There, I feel better. Leiter has thrown 90 pitches so far, only half for strikes. Good guys 1, bad guys 6.

Top of 5th
C'mon Jose, ignite us. Jose pops out to Cedummy. Zeile hits it to the wrong guy - Rolen. Score it 5 to 3. Matsui flies out to Teguchi. Pretty much the most boring inning of baseball I have ever seen in my life. The Mets have only scored two runs in the last 15 innings. Truly pathetic. Good guys 1, bad guys 6.

Bottom of 5th
Mike DeJean in. Leiter's line: 998 pitches, 8 for strikes. Matsui's out. McSuck in at second base and Jose moves to SS. Oh great, my wife, the Smokin' Hot Corner, is so happy that McEwing is in, her favorite player. She made me promise not to call him McSuck anymore. Okay, McUseless in at second. Oh great, Met killer Teguchi gets another hit. Molina bunts him over. DeJean, other than his first 6 innings or so, has sucked. DeJean will be a good experiment. Rick Peterson spotted a flaw in him that he could fix right up (sound familiar). Did Peterson not get the memo that this is not the small market A's and the Mets do not need to troll the league looking for low budget and/or undervalued projects? Grissom grounds out to Jose and Teguchi advances to third. Womack strikes out. Good guys 1, bad guys 6.

Top 6th
Cliff Floyd pulls a single to right. Cammy peppers the left-center field wall. Runners on second and third. Hidalgo grounds to Rolen, who looks Floyd back and guns down Doggie. Runners do not advance. Wright gets into an 0/2 hole takes a couple of balls then goes down swinging. Phillips grounds out. Inning over. Wow, that just exemplified the Mets season. Two men in scoring position, no outs, and they can't even walk away with a single run in the inning. This is just crazy. I really hope Duquette realizes this broken offense needs more than one middle of the order bat. We need a mashing corner outfielder AND a bad ass slugging first basemen this offseason. Good guys 1, bad guys 6.

Bottom 6th
DeJean back in. I don't have a good feeling about this. Tampa Bay won today. With less than a $30 million payroll, TB has a better record than the Mets (I think). This is just embarrassing. I want to buy the Mets. Despite being about a hundred grand in student load debt, my credit card company keep increasing my limit. I think I may have enough credit to throw down the plastic and buy the Mets. First order of business for my Mets: tar and feather Jim Duquette, Rick Peterson and Art Howe. Renteria gets his fourth hit today. Pujols bouncer to Wright, who slightly double clutches again, gets the force out at second but McUseless can't turn two. Rolen gets a single and now there's men on first and second with one out. Larry Walker digs in. DeJean strikes out Walker on three pitches. DeJean should hit Cedeno in the mellon. I'm feeling very violent today? Looks like Roger is hanging off the Big Macs lately? DeJean strikes out Roger. That's two solid scoreless innings for DeJean. Too bad our bullpen can't keep an opposing offense at bay in a game that matters. Good guys 1, bad guys 6.

Top of the 7th
Danny Harren in for Marquis, who just hand cuffed the Mets. Gerald Williams pinch hitting for the pitcher. Jeez, I really hate that this guy is on the team. Are the Mets so cheap that we have to look at Williams instead of one the kids from AAA because they don't want to start their arbitration clock ticking? Williams flies out. Jose grounds out. Zeile flies out to left and the Mets go down in order yet again. Truly pathetic. This game can't end soon enough. Why am I watching this? Why have I watched any games this season? Let's see, there have been, including this game, 110 games. Let's say the average game is 2 and 1/2 hours, that's 275 hours. I probably watched all but maybe 5 games, so that's about 262.5 hours of Mets games I have sat through. I want that time back! In fact, let's all get together and bring a class action lawsuit against the Mets to be reimbursed for our collective time wasted watching this team. Good guys 1, bad guys 6.

Bottom 7th
Pedro Feleciano in. Yay, we got Teguchi out! Molina grounds out to McSuck (sorry honey), I mean McUseless. John Mabry walks after an at bat that took an eternity. Womack flies out to Floyd. Thankfully the inning is over. Good guys 1, bad guys 6.

Top of the 8th
McUseless pops out weakly to Womack who drifts over to the third base area. Clifford pops out to shallow left, where Renteria drifts out to snag it. Cammy strikes out. Mets down in order . . . again. It's amazing. The team is down by five runs and need baserunners in the worst way and Floyd and Cammy, with the bases vacant, are swinging for the fences with every cut. Note to Mets - there's no such thing as a five run home run with the bases empty! Good (albeit clueless) guys 1, bad guys 6.

Bottom of 8th
Looper in for a little trash duty. Valent inserted into left so Cliff can go ice his knees and maybe his head. Renteria just picked up his fifth hit of the game. New Mets motto: New York Mets - We're Here to Pad Your Stats. Great, Pujols is up. Albert, be gentle . . . please. I think Pujols just hit into that DP on purpose. He wants this game to end as badly as I do. Is it wrong that I want Rolen to hit a home run for my fantasy team? Oh my God the Cardinal announcers are making me physically ill. Yeah yeah yeah we know, the Cards are good. Give us a break. I wonder if the Mets announcers are such homies? Rolen flied out to right. Damn it. Oh, I mean good! Good guys 1, bad guys 6.

Top of the 9th
One last chance to keep us from getting swept. Let's see what the Mets can do. Hidalgo goes down looking. Wright pops out. Wright showed his hero, Scott Rolen, nothing this series. Didn't swing the stick particularly well nor did he play good defense. The Cards announcers are already implying that they will be in the World Series and that the best overall record should determine home field advantage. Shoot me now. Phillips gets a hit. Eric Valent singles to right, moving Phillips to third. These are the first two hits off Harren. Here we go - Reyes takes a walk. I think this might be Reyes' first walk . . . um, ever. Ugh, the Cards are making a pitching change - Julian Taverez is in. C'mon, let's get this over with I gotta be somewhere in an hour! Let's go Todd - be a hero. Now the announcers are saying that the strike zone has shrunk in this last inning, which accounts for the Mets mini-rally. I've gone from being annoyed with these guys to now full on hating them. Jeez, Tavarez has like 9 different deliveries. Wow, Taverez walks Zeile to bring in a run and Cliff Floyd represents the tying run! Oh shit, wait fucking Howe double switched Floyd with . . . Joe McEwing! Wait, why not use Piazza as a pinch hitter!?!?! Ugh, McEwing grounds into the force out at second. Game over. The Smokin' Hot Corner is yelling at me to get ready to go out. Hopefully after a few drinks I'll forget about this game. Good guys 2, bad guys 6, Norm pissed off.

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